Hi Edward, thanks for your response. I'm well aware of what cabeceo is, and it was clear to me as I wrote in my article that the only way to get dances that night was to ask. Whether or not that breaks protocol, doesn't invite the responses I received. The first lead I was introduced to by our mutual acquaintance as someone he should dance with, so I felt it was natural to invite him during our conversation, and he clearly didn't want to dance with a beginner. The second lead sent me a facebook message after he saw this post saying he was honored that I asked him. And the third lead did not just "stare," he did a slow up and down look of my body. As a plus-sized dancer for over 10 years, I am very familiar with this type of interaction. When someone shares a lived experience that is different than your own, it's important to let go of preconceptions and listen with an open mind. Just because you haven't personally seen or experienced fatphobic prejudice doesn't mean that it doesn't exist prevalently in dance. The amount of people who'd rather deny my experience than accept that it may have actually happened is alarming.

I can tell that you mean well by your response. But I have received more than a few responses over the last week of tango dancers saying how they refuse to dance with beginners, how they think that teachers shouldn't dance with beginners, how they think that tango doesn't need to be inclusive. These are things that hurt the growth of a community regardless of dance floor etiquette or customs, and dance communities need continuous growth in order to not die out. Also, it's basic human kindness to not gate-keep an art form that could bring others joy.